mrshawke-dot-com » Grammar Police

Thomas Needs an Apostrophe

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 04:10:08 +0000

Location: Riverside Drive Burger King parking lot; Danville, VA
Picture taken: February 2008
Textual representation of image: “Thomas Taxi”

Finally, we got a picture of this one! The taxi-sign debacle was one of the very first errors we saw that made us say, We really should take a picture of that! Mr. Hawke reminded me of this as we were looking through the folder full of Grammar Police pictures I haven’t yet posted.

To my knowledge, Thomas’ Taxi was for a long time the only taxi service in our relatively small city. (City-Data.com cites a July 2006 population of 45,586, down 5.8 percent since 2000.) To be completely upfront, though, my knowledge of the taxi services in Danville doesn’t run deep. Other than seeing the cars around town, I’ve called a taxi two or three times for (too-drunk-to-drive) patrons of restaurants I worked in years ago. Oh, and one of the bartenders at one restaurant always used the taxi service to get to and from work. That’s about it.

But there’s no getting around the fact that Thomas’ Taxi is in desperate need of an editor. The sign on the car above is only one of the two poorly worded signs on cars around town. The other one, which I will get pictures of if I’m ever able, is much more nose-crinkling: “Thoma’s Taxi.” :P

Onward to the problem! The sign on our picture here is clearly missing an apostrophe. The word “Thomas,” a proper noun referring to a person (last name or first? I’m not sure…), and the “Taxi” belongs to this person. The apostrophe, which should follow the final s, shows possession. Since the word Thomas ends in s already, we just need to add an apostrophe.

Rule: To make a noun ending in s possessive, add an apostrophe. (And to make a noun ending in anything else possessive, add an apostrophe and an s).

Note: Many sources claim that an apostrophe and an additional s should be added to a noun ending in s if an extra syllable is pronounced (as in our example, which would be pronounced Thomas-es). However, both strategies are acceptable; just be consistent.

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No, You Can’t Count All Six Cans of Peas As One Item!

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:41:13 +0000

Location: Food Lion, Market Square; Danville, Va.
Picture taken: May 2007
Textual representation of image: “Express Lane: 12 Items or Less”

This is the first-ever Grammar Police picture. I was standing in line with a small basket of items, having chosen the slowest one once again, with plenty of time to read every sign in sight. I’d noticed this error many times, but it suddenly occurred to me that I should break out my handy-dandy camera phone and document it. So here we are. =)

People confuse fewer and less all the time, so I’m sure everyone understands what this sign means. Yes, there are those people who never bother to count the items in their carts or who simply disregard it altogether, but I think that’s more about bad attitudes than misunderstandings.

The sign should read “12 items or fewer,” however, since the items can be counted individually. The word less is reserved for quantities, like air or water, that can’t be counted.

Rule: Use fewer for groups of objects or qualities that can be counted individually; use less for those that can’t be.

The Dictionary Can Be Your Friend

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:40:04 +0000

Location: Brosville Texaco, U.S. 58 West; Danville, Va.
Picture taken: June 2007
Textual representation of image: “Fore. c/card charge. At least $.5 purchage. Maniger”

This handwritten “sign” may be the most confusing one I’ve ever seen. I believe it’s supposed to read, “For credit card charge, at least $5 purchase. Manager.”

Whew! Would a dictionary have helped this one? Maybe a little. And in retrospect, I guess my husband could’ve purchased that loaf of bread with the credit card after all. (“But your sign says 50 cents!!” >:) If only I’d known why he was storming out of the store while I was snapping a shot of the front door… =(

I don’t really have a problem with abbreviations in handwritten signs; I think it’s obvious what c/card means in this case. So what do we have? Two spelling errors — fore and maniger — and a period problem? Far too many problems for one little sign, in my opinion.

Rule: For is a preposition. Fore refers to the front part of something.

Rule: Use a period to separate dollar amounts from cents.

Rule: Use a dictionary!

Maryland Welcome Center Sign

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:37:58 +0000

Location: Maryland Welcome Center, I-95 North
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: “Thank you for not smoking. This is a smoke free building.”

I found this one on the way to New York for our annual anniversary vacation. I guess it goes without mentioning that I only noticed it on the way out of the rest room. It’s a good thing I wasn’t smoking! ;)

Oh, and a large “sorry, once again” goes out to the lady with leg braces that I accidentally blocked as I was snapping the shot. =(

The problem with the sign is that smoke-free should be hyphenated. The words smoke and free work together as a compound adjective modifying the word building. Without the apostrophe, I suppose it means you can get the smoke building for free! Or maybe the building is giving out free smoke…

Rule: Use a hyphen to connect two compound adjectives.

Wellington Fire-Exit Sign

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:36:46 +0000

Location: Wellington Hotel; New York, NY
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: “IN CASE OF FIRE USE STAIRS UNLESS OTHERWISE INSTRUCTED”

Waiting for the elevator in a high-rise hotel can give you lots of free time to scrutinize the nearby signs, like this one on the 19th floor of the (most excellent!) Wellington, on Seventh Avenue in Midtown Manhattan.

I really like this picture because of the reflections in the shiny sign. You can see the reversed floor number, which, incidentally, should really be 18, as there is no floor 13. (But lingering superstitious customs are really another matter entirely. . .) Oh, and if you look closely, you can see my honey’s back; I think he was fixing his shoe while I took the picture. :P

Although most, if not all, people wouldn’t have difficulty parsing the sign’s meaning, it really needs a comma following the prepositional phrase(s), “in case of fire,” especially considering the word use has different, erm, uses.

Rule: Use a comma after introductory words, phrases, or clauses.

Q Train Ad #2

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:35:17 +0000

Location: Q Train; New York, NY
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: “Close your curtains and blinds on sunny days and you’ll save money for a rainy day.”

This subway advertisement is another panel of the previous ad display. While the ads proclaim great conservation tips, they sure make a mess of punctuation!

The problem here is that there are two independent clauses merged with only a conjunction (and) between them. The first part, “Close your curtains and blinds on sunny days,” could stand alone as a complete sentence, and the second part, “you’ll save money for a rainy day,” could do the same. Each of the two has a subject and its verb (and could stand alone); that’s the definition of an independent clause. However, a conjunction alone is not enough to separate two independent clauses.

Rule: Two independent clauses can be separated with a period and a capital letter; a semicolon; a comma and a conjunction (and, or, but, for, nor, so, or yet); or a semicolon, a transitional expression (like however), and a comma.

Q Train Ad #1

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:34:34 +0000

Location: Q Train; New York, NY
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: “Teach your kids about conservation at our fun kids site. They log on, you save money. www.conEd.com/kids”

Most places, people would look at you a little odd if you excused yourself to say you wanted to take a picture of the subway ad just over their heads. But, I suppose, I was so much less strange than Phil, the homeless guy with his shirt on inside-out who made his candy-sales spiel sound like the gospel, that the natives just nodded and continued staring into that blank space ahead.

There are two grammatical problems with this ad. First, the second kids is in desperate need of a final apostrophe, since it is a possessive — an adjective modifying site. Also, the final sentence contains a comma splice, or two independent clauses separated with a comma.

Rule: Use a final apostrophe with an adjective ending in s.

W Train Ad

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:33:37 +0000

Location: W Train; New York, NY
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: CHANGE IS: WISHING FOR A LONGER FLIGHT”

We found this Delta ad on the subway on the way back to our hotel from the Met, I believe. Yes, that was after the torrential thunderstorm in which we ran from awning to awning and ended up finally on the train totally drenched.

The problem with this ad is the unnecessary colon. (We won’t even mention the capital letters and lack of a period here; advertising is, after all, a different beast. . .) Colons are generally used to signal an upcoming list or a definition, something to which the writer really wants to bring attention, yes, but not in all cases.

Rule: Colons should follow an independent clause, i.e. a group of words that has both a subject and its verb, and can stand alone.

A Sesame-Seeded Backside?

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:32:10 +0000

Location: Burger King on Piney Forest Road; Danville, Va.
Picture taken: July 2007
Textual representation of image: “ITS BACK WESTERN WHOPPER”

Whose back? I’m envisioning a large flame-broiled burger on a sesame seed bun wearing a western shirt, bolero, and sombrero.

I know from experience that these make-your-own billboards contain apostrophes (sorry, Ry-Ry…), so maybe someone lost it?! The its/it’s error is a very common one, so probably not. Its is the possessive case of the pronoun it, while it’s is a contraction which stands for it is, which is what the sign really means. One use of the apostrophe is to show where something is missing; in this case, it’s the i of is. :P

We won’t even get into the rest of the missing punctuation in this sign, but at least it’s easily changed!

Rule: Use it’s in place of it is, and use its as an adjective form of the pronoun it.

Frank’s Restaurant Menu

admin — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 02:42:37 +0000

Location: Frank’s Italian Restaurant; Danville, Va.
Picture taken: August 2007

Frank’s is definitely one of our favorite restaurants in town, especially since they moved into their new location on Memorial. Good atmosphere, good food, and (usually) good service add up to a place we go back to again and again. (I recommend the grilled chicken salad with their house dressing!)

When I saw their take-out menus on our last visit, I told the ladies at the register I hoped they got a refund on them. “Frank’ Italian Family Restaurant”?! Where’s the s?!

This is one of those so-called careless mistakes (that’s what my math teachers always called them on my papers, at least) that just makes you shake your head. I’ve overlooked similarly crucial errors before myself. Once you check something over and over, it’s hard not to gloss over everything instead of focusing.

Rule: Everyone needs a good proofreader! (It’s a good thing I’ve got Mr. Hawke!)